Millennials Ditching Myriad Streaming Options for Simple Flat Rate of Cable

BOSTON, MA – As more and more streaming services launch, including, most recently, Disney+, millions of millennials across the country have reportedly been giving up streaming services altogether in favor of cable television. “Netflix, Hulu, HBO Now, Amazon Prime, YouTube TV, CBS All Access, Apple TV+, Criterion Channel, MUBI, Crunchyroll, Sling TV, Twitch, and now Disney+? Honestly, who can keep up with all that shit? Not to mention all the different options within each service: ad-free, ad-light, just the ads. It’s all too much!” said 29-year old Amanda Pearson. These “cyber-cutters” as they’re being called, are being lured in growing numbers by the simple, convenient fee structure of cable. “Just one phone call, and someone shows up and installs cable for me. No more shelling out 120 bucks a month for 10 different streaming services, half of which I rarely use.” said Pearson. “Honestly, I don’t know anyone my age who’s still putting up with all the confusing pricing options, and glut of services to choose from that comes with streaming. Nowadays, if I want to watch something, I know I’ll be able to find it somewhere on cable.” At press time, it was not known just how many millennials have made the switch from streaming to cable, but one report estimated that, by the time Peacock launches in 2020, virtually everyone will have switched over to some form of cable TV.

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