Deval Patrick Announces Late Bid for 2020 Book Deal

BOSTON, MA – Early Thursday morning, former Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick announced a last-minute bid for a 2020 book deal. “I know there are a lot of other candidates, like Cory Booker, and Tom Steyer who are also in the running for a 2020 book deal, but make no mistake, I’m your guy,” said Patrick “and I promise I will do everything in my power to bring the American people a compelling, engaging, rags-to-riches narrative, should I be chosen for a book deal in 2020.” The former Governor admitted that getting a book deal this late in the game would be “like throwing a Hail Mary from two stadiums away, if the third string quarterback was on the field, and the ball was also on fire” but he assured his supporters that he would be all in on winning a book deal from this point forward. “I know I filed for this book deal just days before the deadline, but make no mistake, from this moment on, Deval Patrick is going HAM until we get that book deal!” he said to a small crowd gathered at Boston Common. His campaign team, mainly consisting of college sophomores and a guy named “Scooter” he found on Craigslist, announced that his official book deal slogan “Deval for All” would also make a great title for his book should he get a book deal.

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