Man’s Entire Sense of Self-Worth Riding on Outcome of Patriots Game

BOSTON, MA – With the Patriots vs. Titans game coming up, Patriots fan Mike McGann of Leominster was hinging his entire sense of self-worth on whether or not the Patriots are victorious this postseason. “If the Pats lose on Saturday I’m basically a worthless piece of shit,” said McGann to a group of friends at his local bar. He went on to describe how the success of the Patriots, who are ultimately just a group of athletes loosely affiliated with his geographical area, was responsible for his entire sense of self. “The Pats winning football games is pretty much my entire identity, so if we lose this next one and don’t even make it to the Super Bowl, the next couple months are going to be a pretty dark time for me,” mused the 38-year-old insurance claims adjuster. He did go on to add, however, that if the Patriots don’t win this weekend, that he could probably tie his self-identity to the success of the Bruins or Celtics.

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