Innocent Man Hires Former Attorney of Fellow Innocent Man OJ Simpson

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Last Friday, President Donald Trump announced that he had added attorney Alan Dershowitz to his legal team, noting that Dershowitz had brilliantly defended other innocent men like former NFL running back O.J. Simpson in the past. “Alan is great at defending people who we all know are totally innocent like me and The Juice,” said the President. “Just like the O.J. trial, this impeachment is a witch hunt and a total sham, so I hired the best attorney at defending people who are 100% innocent,” he added. The President went on to cite other innocent clients that Alan Dershowitz had defended like the late Jeffrey Epstein. “Alan really did a wonderful job defending Jeffrey back in 2008 when he helped him strike that deal with the feds after he was framed for sex trafficking,” said Trump, “that’s why I want Alan on my legal team, because like Jeffrey, I’m being accused of something I definitely didn’t do, and Alan is the perfect lawyer to get me out of that.”

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