SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A week after presidential hopeful Andrew Yang dropped out of the race, members of his notorious Yang Gang were still having a difficult time re-entering society. The gang, formed by entrepreneur and Democratic presidential candidate Andrew Yang, got its start in 2017 in the rough and tumble gastropubs and spin studios of San Francisco, and eventually spread all the way to such disparate locales as San Jose and Palo Alto.
Now, with Andrew Yang out of the race, and the gang totally dissolved, former members are having trouble re-adjusting from a life of fanciful, pie-in-the-sky Silicon Valley ideas like Universal Basic Income back to the realm of sensible, time-tested policy. “It’s been hard,” said a former Yang gangbanger who wished to remain anonymous, “I got so caught up in that UBI life that I lost all grasp on reality. Now I’m just trying my best to live a regular life of fighting for more affordable healthcare, and closing tax loopholes for the wealthy. You know, regular policies that work.”
Former members of the Yang Gang, an organization defined by a cult-like, almost maniacal devotion to solutions in search of problems like the so-called Freedom Dividend, are now struggling to find other presidential candidates to support now that Andrew Yang is no longer in the running. When asked who he would be supporting, another former member who also wished to remain anonymous, said “I don’t know. I guess I’ll vote for Bernie, or maybe whoever the Libertarian candidate ends up being?” before bursting into tears.
One former Yang Gang member who seems to be doing just fine is founder Andrew Yang himself, who appears to have fully re-adjusted to civilian life, and is now doing political commentary for CNN. Sources close to Yang have also said that he is a sure bet to end up on Dancing With The Stars at some point in the near future.