Retiring Driver’s Ed Instructor Fondly Looks Back on Legacy of Putting 3,000 Massholes on Road
MEDFORD, MA – After a career spanning four decades, Massachusetts Driver’s Ed Instructor Pete Santorelli announced he was finally retiring after putting over 3,000 Massholes on Massachusetts roads. Santorelli looked backed warmly on his legacy of letting thousands of reckless, angry Massachusetts drivers loose on state thoroughfares saying “For the past 35 years I’ve gone to work every […]
Two Month Championship Drought Really Taking Toll on Boston Sports Fan
BOSTON, MA – Local sports fan Travis McGinty, 27, was reportedly distraught at the fact that it’s been over two months since any professional Boston sports teams has won a national championship. McGinty, who was spotted in a morose state downing beers at a local tavern in Malden, mumbled “I can’t believe not a single team in Boston […]
Elizabeth Warren Announces Plan to Run as Black Man in 2020 Election
BOSTON, MA – Senator and presidential hopeful Elizabeth Warren announced that, should she win the 2020 Democratic primary, she will run her presidential campaign as an African-American man. In a statement to the press, the Massachusetts Democrat stated “I am proud of my family ancestry which traces our lineage back to a male ancestor 150,000 years ago somewhere […]